your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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