It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Randomize
