Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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