She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
