There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
