Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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