Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
