Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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