"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
