Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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