Michael Bay diarrhea
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize