My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
