I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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