Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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