glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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