u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize