Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
