Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
