Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
