Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
