Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
