hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She's the barista slut.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
