I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
