matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
