I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
