you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
