Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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