i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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