I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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