I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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