Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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