i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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