She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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