i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
