She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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