Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
