Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
