i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
