Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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