I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
