we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
