You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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