also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
