why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and she was petting her beer can
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
