i was born a porn star she said
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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