U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
