I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
