I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
