I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
