oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
