He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
