Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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