Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
