we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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