When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize