i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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