the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize