I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
