We named our party play list daddy issues
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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