Michael Bay diarrhea
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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