is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize