Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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